Beyonce’s 60-year-old mom/fashion designer was a speaker at the Woman and Money Leadership Luncheon in Houston, Texas and she took the time to address how she felt after being married to Matthew Knowles for 33 years and the marriage finally packed up.
Read Excerpts below:
On divorcing at 58
She said I was very sad. When you look at someone else, you look at them and say, ‘They’re attractive. They have a lot of good stuff going on for them. They have no right to have low self-esteem. They have no right to feel sorry for themselves.’ Well, it doesn’t matter who you are, what you are, what you’ve done, what you have. You’re a person; you’re a human being. And when something strikes you like that, it takes the breath out of you.
And my fight came back! After a while, I let myself feel sorry for myself for a minute and then I said, ‘You know, I’m so blessed to have all the opportunities that I have. And I don’t have the right to feel sorry.’ I started telling myself this. I started reading my art books. I love art but I had never had the time. I started traveling.
I would travel with my daughter [Beyoncé] but not to work! I would say, ‘No I’m not working.’ I had my girlfriend who would make me laugh. I sent for her and she would come on the road and we would go to museums, we would go to lunch and we would just laugh. And I just really had forgotten how to live. I had just lost all of myself so I realize now that part of the low self-esteem was, yes, being 58 and having to start over again, and the other part is that I just lost myself. That I was so busy working and going and taking care of everybody else that I just forgot about Tina.
On finding love at 59 ,
The whole thing about dating was the scariest thing in the world! I would tell my friends, ‘Where am I gonna find somebody at 59 years old? Where do you meet men? Where do you get them? And they’re all gone.’ It was really funny so I just focused on myself. Finally, a girl that worked with me said, ‘This guy I know wants to take you out. He just thinks you’re hot!’ And I’m like, ‘Really?!’ So she said, ‘Yes!’ My kids got me ready, and I changed clothes five times.
I didn’t want to be too this and too that.Well, I went out with the guy and he was a very, very nice man and thank God he wasn’t my type because I wasn’t as nervous once I met him. So I was like, ‘You know what, this is just like friend time.’ But it was so good for my self-esteem to have somebody to say, ‘You look nice!’ To give me a flower, to take me out. So I went out on a couple of dates with him but I knew he wasn’t the one. But it got me past that [point in my life.
On hearing her husband was getting married again,
I hear that my ex-husband is getting married. Now this is my family. My ex-husband is my family. I don’t want to get back into that at all, that’s not what I want. But it still hurts a little bit, right? It’s still a blow to your ego. So I call my crazy friend Monica to take care of me the week of the weddingShe comes to LA and she says, ‘Tina, you gotta get out ..let’s go out! Let’s go see some men!’ and I was like, ‘I don’t know where to find ‘em!’